The Social Media Detox is a trap.

Stop hitting pause on a broken system.

Ugh. Enough is enough.

I’m tired of wasting my time, tired of feeling like I’m missing out on my own life.
I don’t like how it drags my focus from the kids, how it clings to my mind even after I log off.

Every time, I catch myself saying, “I need a break. I need to clear my head, step away, and recharge.”
So, I’ll delete the app, take my “break”…only to find myself right back in the same place weeks later.
Back to scrolling, back to feeling drained, back to square one.

Enter: the Social Media Detox.

It’s like hitting reset on a broken system—a practice so many of us have tried, more times than we can count. And sure, it helps... but only for a while. The Detox promises us a taste of freedom, only to bring us back to the same loop, the same endless cycle.

But what if this whole “detox” idea is a trap? What if we don’t need to keep dipping in and out of this world that leaves us feeling off? What if, instead of a break, we just…let it go?

(above shows one of the results from my social media detox survey conducted 2024)

The last few months of the year for me, are usually full of sweets and comfort foods. And every. Single. January. I feel like I need a reset—something to wipe the slate clean. One year, 2019, I turned to a juice cleanse, flooding my body with all the greens and nutrients I’d been slacking on. And when it was over, I went back to food, of course, because I need it to live.

But here’s the twist:

With a social media detox, there’s no real reason you have to go back. And yet…most of us do. Why? Is social media as necessary to our life as food? That’s surely what they want us to think.(or not think at all about and just keep mindlessly consuming..)

Think about it: why do we even start a detox? Because social media has most likely assumed position in a place we never intended it to be. Taking up space we don’t have to spare, pulling us in and making us crave a break. 

A social media detox promises a temporary fix to help us feel refreshed. And yes, many people report feeling “liberated” or “so much better” afterward. But what does it say if we feel we have to go back even after all that mental, emotional and often physical improvement?

How the social media detox is a trap

This is my issue with the whole idea of a detox. The well-intentioned message is clear: reset, take a break, feel better, then go back. A detox positions social media as something inescapable, a necessary evil we must continually escape from and return to. If the freedom, clarity, peace, presence,(need i continue?) we feel during a detox is so transformative, why are we compelled to keep returning?

Maybe it’s because we’ve been led to believe that we need it. That a detox is just a bandaid, a relief from something we’re convinced is essential. But what if that’s just part of the cycle keeping us tethered?

Over the past 7 years of sharing my experience of living without social media, and encouraging others who feel the call, to leap! I’ve had the unique opportunity to cultivate a very open and transparent community around this very thing.  I’ve had hundreds if not thousands at this point of conversations with people wanting to leave social media, but struggling to successfully do so. 

Here’s what it comes down to. We’re addicted, reliant on social media for specific wants and needs, sometimes it’s even simply that we haven’t had the perspective shift that social media isn’t actually a necessity, and that can change everything! 

A social media detox is a trap because it offers just enough relief to lull us into thinking, Hey, I feel better now. Maybe I’m in a better place-maybe I can handle going back. We get that brief clarity, and we start to think, Was it really that bad? Maybe I was overreacting. Let’s try again!

And so, we’re drawn right back in.

What happens after a Social Media Detox? 

If the social media detox was a sufficient solution to a problem much larger than any week or two offline could cure, I would have been more surprised with the results from my “Social Media Detox” survey.  

(if you want to take part in the survey, it’s still open! You can take it in under 30 seconds, here.)

The reality is- most people don’t end up sticking to the new rules, behaviors and time limits they place on themselves when they return to social media after a detox.  

Nearly 80% fall right back into the same habits and patterns they tried to escape.

Hmm. Doesn’t sound like a solid solution to a major problem, does it? More like slapping a band-aid on it.

And here’s the thing about band-aids—they’re temporary. They lose their stick. They aren’t built to last.

So, here’s my question: if we feel so much better without social media, why on earth do we keep going back?

The answer is simple yet complex: we rely on social media to meet certain wants and needs. It’s become an extension of our lives—a place where we store memories, stay “connected” to friends, and in some cases, build part of our identity. Leaving feels like leaving a piece of ourselves behind.

Social media companies know exactly how to keep us coming back. They’ve designed it to be indispensable, sinking their hooks deeper than we ever imagined, leaving us thinking that “detoxing” is as far as we can go.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

The Straight-Up Truth

People are waking up—to the wasted time, the constant comparisons, the endless reel of “highlight” moments that feel anything but real. We’re seeing the effects on ourselves, our loved ones, and society at large. And it’s no small thing.

In my survey about the social media detox, I asked a defining question: (& the results speak volumes.)

YES.

And each time someone takes the survey, the number of “Yeses” seem to go up.

So, if you’re feeling that pull to step away, maybe even indefinitely, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Think of your next “detox” as a test drive for life offline. You don’t have to go back. You don’t have to fit into society’s “always on” box if it doesn’t align with you.

Maybe you can’t completely disconnect right now due to work or other commitments, but what if you started to separate yourself where it’s possible? To take small steps that align with who you are and what feels best for you?

The goal isn’t to “detox” and then return, as if social media were some unavoidable necessity. Because here’s the truth: it’s not. It’s a choice, and often, a silent addiction we’re not taking seriously enough.

Ask yourself:

• Is social media really the only way to stay connected today?

• Is FOMO worth trading peace and presence?

• Is a double-tap or a “like” the best form of connection?

• Or is social media just a shallow substitute for something deeper?

Social media is not a necessity. Let’s stop treating it like one.

Those feelings you get on a detox—clarity, peace, presence—don’t have to be fleeting. They can become your new normal. Imagine a life where you’re fully present, aligned with what matters most, regardless of what the world tells you that is.

You won’t miss out without social media. If anything, you’re more likely to miss out on your own life by staying. The boredom you might dread could become the very doorway to self-discovery, to hearing your own thoughts again. And the connections you fear losing online? They’re waiting for you in real life—rich, reciprocal, and deeply fulfilling.

So to you, the ever-creative, purpose-driven soul who wants to make a difference: do what feels right for you. Whether that includes social media or not, the choice is yours. Embrace the freedom, alignment, and beauty that comes from making that choice intentionally and in a way that truly serves you.

Are we crazy, or just first? 

In my new book, The Social Media Shift, at the close I address those who feel like they're the only ones in their circle, their family or community who’s striving to- or living without social media.  And I get it! If you’re not having these conversations everyday like I am, you’d feel like you’re the only one. 

But here’s how I like to think about it. 

Have you ever heard the saying, “It's lonely at the top?”

That’s because the people “at the top” are often willing to do things that most people aren’t. They’re willing to get uncomfortable, be persistent, and be relentless in their efforts to do the thing they feel is best for them.

I’d like to put a twist on this and suggest our own saying: “It’s lonely to be the first.” This means that the offline worldwide movement is just beginning to take root. We’re like the first blossoms of an aspen tree, paving the way and showing others what is possible as this movement grows and spreads.  

How do you think the people felt who paved the way for many incredible things we get to enjoy today? They weren’t surrounded by people doing the same thing, but it had to start somewhere. Otherwise, so many amazing things we enjoy today wouldn’t exist.  

Many of the most beautiful, life-changing things often begin with one…then another…then all over the world, we’re tied together in this common goal. Although miles and continents apart, we’re not alone. 

Even here! On Substack, there are people out there doing it! Thanks to my community, I’ve recently discovered that

Mehret Biruk

of

time spent offline

, and

Seth Werkheiser

of

SOCIAL MEDIA ESCAPE CLUB

are also offline trailblazers! We may be the first, but we won’t be the last. And with every step, we’re proving there’s a whole, vibrant world waiting offline.

I’m also extremely grateful for people like Jonathan Haidt of

After Babel

and

Freya India

of

GIRLS

, who are talking boldly about so many important topics surrounding social media and it’s incredibly powerful, impactful and NEEDED. So, THANK YOU for stepping up and speaking out! I’m inspired by you.

Next time you consider a Social Media Detox consider this..

And to you incredibly unique, valuable, full of so much life and potential human- The next time you find yourself thinking…

Ugh. Enough is enough.

I’m over feeling tethered, over the endless back-and-forth of needing a “break.” I’m tired of telling myself it’s necessary when all it really does is drain my energy and steal moments that matter. What if, instead of gearing up for the next detox, we questioned if social media is truly necessary at all? What if we opened ourselves to the idea that life could be full–actually richer–without it?

Imagine not just taking a break, but stepping off the cycle altogether. No more looping back, no more distractions. Just presence, purpose, and the freedom to live without the constant pull of a screen. That world is already waiting… and the truth is, social media was never a necessity.

Your friend on a hell-bent mission to bring to light the truth about social media,

xx

Carly