Removing the main social media apps from my phone, not deleting the accounts, was a big move for me. I know all my stuff is still there, and I can check in on my computer if I want to, make the occasional post... But overall not have it in my pocket is so freeing.
Until I found other apps that draw my attention, and I feel I'm in the same place.
I've entered back in the dating scene, as my long term partner and I opened our relationship. So the dating apps are in my life again and I feel this very different, almost urgent use of my phone. Trying desperately to find new people to experience as the success rate is low for a non-monogomous man, it seems. I'm finding myself more frustrated, eager, nervous while waiting for people's responses that, most of the time, end up coming to nothing. Not having that face to face conversation to immediately read someone's reaction to a sentence is absolutely dreadful.
I had just decided to close out of tinder and go on substance to see what I could find and found your post. You were one of the catylists that got social media offy phone, and maybe you'll lead me to change this new dynamic with my phone as well. Thank you!
Wow, YES. The The Unplugged Experience looks amazing! What a space! I do weekly Zoom calls talking about social media, and it's been sooo life giving, and freeing. Like you said, just talking about it is how we feel less alone in all of this.
This hits deep because it’s exactly what I’ve been writing about—how we’re all just drifting through an endless scroll, numbing ourselves without realizing it. It’s not even about social media itself, but about what it’s stealing from us: presence, depth, real connection. The scariest part? It feels normal. But we can wake up. Maybe it’s not about quitting but about using it on our terms, making space for life to actually happen instead of just watching it pass by. I’ve been exploring this in The Day the Social Media Died—join me there!
This describes my feeling towards social media as well.
Luckily (for me), I was able to break the cycle some time ago, but the feeling (or lack of) that I have been having for many years was a constant, depressing numbness.
I suspect now, that this was my dopamine production doing absolutely nothing for me any more. Lately, I am experimenting with bringing it back online by doing the opposite of what brought me there. So instead of reaching for something that would give me a little dopamine high (but actually probably won't), I try to do something that brings me some degree of discomfort first.
It actually makes the pleasurable activity register a little again. Hopefully it will recover fully over time.
A question I frequently see on the digital minimalism subreddit (lol, my kids have pointed out the irony of me lurking there) is "where can I go and be offline?". It seems to be a question welling up with all sorts of people in a lot of different situations. I myself will occasionally go down rabbit holes of off-line retreats or looking for hotel rooms in the West Virginia quiet zone just to escape the screens, phones everywhere. People will suggest: eco villages, cults and certain religions, the Quiet Zone, and spending time with the elderly.
Removing the main social media apps from my phone, not deleting the accounts, was a big move for me. I know all my stuff is still there, and I can check in on my computer if I want to, make the occasional post... But overall not have it in my pocket is so freeing.
Until I found other apps that draw my attention, and I feel I'm in the same place.
I've entered back in the dating scene, as my long term partner and I opened our relationship. So the dating apps are in my life again and I feel this very different, almost urgent use of my phone. Trying desperately to find new people to experience as the success rate is low for a non-monogomous man, it seems. I'm finding myself more frustrated, eager, nervous while waiting for people's responses that, most of the time, end up coming to nothing. Not having that face to face conversation to immediately read someone's reaction to a sentence is absolutely dreadful.
I had just decided to close out of tinder and go on substance to see what I could find and found your post. You were one of the catylists that got social media offy phone, and maybe you'll lead me to change this new dynamic with my phone as well. Thank you!
Wow, YES. The The Unplugged Experience looks amazing! What a space! I do weekly Zoom calls talking about social media, and it's been sooo life giving, and freeing. Like you said, just talking about it is how we feel less alone in all of this.
This hits deep because it’s exactly what I’ve been writing about—how we’re all just drifting through an endless scroll, numbing ourselves without realizing it. It’s not even about social media itself, but about what it’s stealing from us: presence, depth, real connection. The scariest part? It feels normal. But we can wake up. Maybe it’s not about quitting but about using it on our terms, making space for life to actually happen instead of just watching it pass by. I’ve been exploring this in The Day the Social Media Died—join me there!
https://thedaythesocialmediadied.substack.com/
This describes my feeling towards social media as well.
Luckily (for me), I was able to break the cycle some time ago, but the feeling (or lack of) that I have been having for many years was a constant, depressing numbness.
I suspect now, that this was my dopamine production doing absolutely nothing for me any more. Lately, I am experimenting with bringing it back online by doing the opposite of what brought me there. So instead of reaching for something that would give me a little dopamine high (but actually probably won't), I try to do something that brings me some degree of discomfort first.
It actually makes the pleasurable activity register a little again. Hopefully it will recover fully over time.
A question I frequently see on the digital minimalism subreddit (lol, my kids have pointed out the irony of me lurking there) is "where can I go and be offline?". It seems to be a question welling up with all sorts of people in a lot of different situations. I myself will occasionally go down rabbit holes of off-line retreats or looking for hotel rooms in the West Virginia quiet zone just to escape the screens, phones everywhere. People will suggest: eco villages, cults and certain religions, the Quiet Zone, and spending time with the elderly.
This is so powerful! Thank you, thank you, thank you.